Photo by Chris Barbalis on Unsplash
In 2004, I landed a much-needed contract position at a liquor company filling in for two women who were going on maternity leave. Money was tight after not being able to secure a permanent role with benefits after being let go from my last job a year earlier. Not like there wasn’t enough going on at home being a mom with two young kids and caring for a mother nearing the end of her battle with terminal cancer.
About a month into the job, my mother passed away. My workaholic husband was laser-focused on building his new business. And not coming from the warmest of families, was ill-equipped to offer me much consolation or comfort.
That’s when I met Jacob. * One of the brand managers whom I was hired to support. He was funny, adorable, and possessed the classic trifecta: tall, dark, and handsome. He made me smile and made work less of grind.
Over time, I developed a bit of a crush on him. I’d make the extra effort to iron my outfit and slap on a little makeup every morning if I knew he would be in the office. Seeing him during the day gave me something to look forward to. I chance to lift my spirits (no pun intended) during one of the darkest and loneliest times of my life. I tend to punctuate my life with songs and there is one by Ryan Cabrera that I always associated with him.
He was a reverse commuter, taking the train from Manhattan every morning. Being a suburban mom, I envied his freewheeling and unhitched life in the city. We were worlds apart along with our upbringing and 7-year age difference. The reasons we rolled in late were different. Mine driven usually by insomnia and or ailing family members and his I’d assume were just a result of his New York lifestyle. I wondered why someone who lived in the city with endless work opportunities would choose to schlep at least an hour and a half door to door to Westport, Connecticut. So, I Googled him.
I found an article where he was interviewed about his two close friends who died in the Twin Towers on September 11th. Friends since childhood they shared an apartment in the city until that fateful day. He thought they would remain friends forever, take each other’s kids to Little League games and have barbecues with their wives.
I was able to work with him for a little over a year, but once the position ended our friendship was relegated to LinkedIn and then Facebook. I believe he was the one who introduced me to it. It was nice to have a lens into his life. He was pretty active at first as he transitioned from one relationship to another and toured the world. I was sure he would settle down eventually with a nice Jewish girl. He accumulated thousands of friends of Facebook while my count still hovers in the double digits. Most every year on September 11th he would commemorate the two special friends he lost.
As the years went on, his Facebook posts slowed down. LinkedIn provided me another perspective as he ascended in his career becoming an entrepreneur and hanging out with celebrities. He had everything going for him. What an amazing catch. But as he worked his way through his 40’s, there were never any wedding pictures besides those his of his sisters and friends.
In 2021, I was Googling Jacob once again to see what he was up to and happened upon multiple news stories bearing his name. For some reason he attempted a backflip at a concert from a mezzanine and plummeted to his death three weeks after his 46th birthday. I couldn’t understand what would make him do something so insane. I’m not sure what substance or substances he was under, it just seemed too irrational of a decision regardless of how drug induced it might have been.
He left behind his family and tons of friends, yet he didn’t leave behind the wife or kids that he was supposed to have along with two closest friends who perished on September 11th. I don’t think he knew what an impact he had on me and judging by the flood or tributes when he passed, I wasn’t the only one. One post showed a picture of the three of them at prom and stating that they were now together again.
There’s a line in that song that says, “On the way down I almost fell right through, but I held on to you.” It’s eerie now.
While neither Jacob or Karl died as a result of the attacks on the World Trade Center or the Pentagon they will forever be connected to that day in my mind, especially now since they both left the earth too early and in a senseless way.
*Name changed for privacy.
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